The Arrow

The Arrow desires romance and validation from a partner, but they’re also independent and anchored enough not to be too caught up in fairytale ideas of romance. Their playful and romantic natures make them seek out romance, but they’re likely more comfortable in the stability of a relationship than during the ups and downs of the dating stage.

Desires

• A stabilizing force in their life.
• Calm and tranquility in a relationship.
• An independent sense of self and life outside of the relationship.

Ideal Relationship

• A passionate yet stable romance, giving each partner a safe space to create their own sense of self.
• A relationship in which both sides are willing to give love and to receive it without either partner losing their sense of selves.
• A relationship that is full of sparks, spontaneity, and fantasy.

Although The Arrow loves romance, they’re unlikely to get too caught up in it. They’re anchored by their desire for stability, and also often need their partners to express how they feel. Because of all these traits working together, they look for partners who can be their ‘rock’ or a source of stability in their lives.

Their independent traits mean they don’t want to be completely defined by their relationship, which means that although they’re looking for long term commitments, they need a partner who will complement their life and be a source of strength and energy, but they also need their own life and sense of self outside of the relationship. Because of this, they may develop crushes quickly but are unlikely to be as quick to fall into relationships as some other types.

Being with The Arrow

While The Arrow could struggle with the ups and downs of dating and usually prefers to be in an anchored relationship, they subconsciously also love the thrills and spark created by new romances.

Their romantic nature means they have a tendency to go all-in during the dating stage, but in a relationship, they’re more likely to want an equal give and take.

While they desire a partner who has an independent life outside of the relationship, they also want to know that they matter to them. What they’re really looking for is a stable romance in which both partners are able to open up and express their feelings without prompting.

Bright spots of a relationship with The Arrow

• Once they get past the initial friction of dating, they are able to commit wholly to their partners.
• Their love of romance makes their partners feel special and truly cared about.
• They desire calm and tranquility and are likely to avoid any drama even within the excitement of a romance.
• They have romantic natures and the ability to make their partner feel like the center of their world when they wish.

Challenges of being with The Arrow

• They can get too caught up in wanting to maintain their independence and can find themselves starting to withdraw even if it’s not something they themselves want to do.
• They want words of affirmation but are often unable to express this desire, which can make them seem detached or aloof.
• Their independent side gives them the ability to disconnect when they feel uncomfortable or unwilling to deal with any drama in a romance, which can make them seem cold and detached to a partner who does not understand this coping mechanism.

Compatible types

For The Arrow, finding someone who has the same need for a life outside of the relationship but at the same time, wants to be in a stable, committed relationship, is most important. Even so, they’re sometimes well-matched with interdependent types if they’re more secure and pragmatic in nature. Other romantic types that are anchored and secure are also a good match.

They’re looking for butterflies in their stomach, but they’re also driven by a more anchored desire for stability in love. So they may not be as well-matched with daring, entropic types even though their romantic natures may mean that they sometimes draw these types in during the dating stage.

• IPCA
• ICRA
• IREA
• TRCA

Because of how their romantic nature and anchored personality combine with their independent nature, they can sometimes listen to one side over the other, which can be confusing for a partner. If either side dominates, they may find themselves going from one relationship to the next without forming the meaningful connections and stability their anchored sides desire.

Unhealthy adaptations

• Can be prone to seeing the grass as greener on the other side, leading to dissatisfaction even if it’s not acted upon.
• Allowing their independent side to dominate continuously so they begin to spend an unhealthy amount of time distancing and avoiding quality time in a relationship.
• Letting their entropic side break down boundaries that their independent and anchored side is able to set for them within a relationship.

Struggles

• A romantic with a need for affirmation puts them at risk of seeing romance (and a partner) as the cure to their problems, leading to unrealistic expectations.
• Going too far in every direction makes them settle down too quickly with the wrong partner. This is often compounded by their need for anchored romance and impatience with dating.
• A combination of their need for affirmation and their independence can actually hit against each other—they may struggle to open up in relationships and find it a challenge to be vulnerable.

Although they desire somewhat separate lives outside of a romance, they believe it’s important for partners to have intentional, shared time in service of the relationship.

This means that they’re good at giving and taking space so they can keep the spark of a romance alive—without spending every moment together, partners can come together to discuss their lives rather than get on each others’ nerves. This is part of what keeps The Arrow satisfied and happy in a relationship.

Healthy Adaptations

• Allowing an independent streak to help temper somewhat unrealistic expectations of love and romance to solve all their problems.
• Having a fulfilling work and social life outside of a romance, so that a relationship feels like a fulfilling and ongoing choice where two partners can talk about and share things that happened to them at the end of the day.
• Balancing romantic energy and need for affirmation with stability and thoughtfulnes.
• Knowing that attraction to others outside of their relationship is natural and not always a sign that their relationship isn’t working—often it’s just projections of their own psychology.

Although they desire somewhat separate lives outside of a romance, they believe it’s important for partners to have intentional, shared time in service of the relationship.

This means that they’re good at giving and taking space so they can keep the spark of a romance alive—without spending every moment together, partners can come together to discuss their lives rather than get on each others’ nerves. This is part of what keeps The Arrow satisfied and happy in a relationship.

Healthy Adaptations

• Allowing an independent streak to help temper somewhat unrealistic expectations of love and romance to solve all their problems.
• Having a fulfilling work and social life outside of a romance, so that a relationship feels like a fulfilling and ongoing choice where two partners can talk about and share things that happened to them at the end of the day.
• Balancing romantic energy and need for affirmation with stability and thoughtfulnes.
• Knowing that attraction to others outside of their relationship is natural and not always a sign that their relationship isn’t working—often it’s just projections of their own psychology.

Because they’re romantic but also independent, The Arrow can find themselves pointed in the right direction when it comes to relationships. They’re able to be stable and anchored without losing the spontaneity and fun that makes a romance thrilling for a partner, and they’re also able to find their own lives outside of it without sacrificing the support and encouragement that comes within a nurturing pairing. One of their biggest strengths is this ability to balance everything to create a healthy environment in which a relationship can truly thrive.

• Able to encourage and nurture their partners’ goals without being over-involved in their lives.
• Capable of letting love run its course while still keeping the spark alive.
• Able to balance their love life with other aspects of their life.
• Love being in passionate romances, but unlikely to buy into an unrealistic, fairytale idea of a relationship.
• Capable and willing to take chances on new romances without overthinking things or being too practical in their approach.
• Able to temper their need for romance with their desire for stability in a relationship.