The Energetic

The Energetic is a constantly moving force in the world of romance. While they’re usually easygoing when it comes to love and romance, they tend to value psychological closeness. Because of this, they desire affirmation and validation, often desiring this more than the thrill of romance—although they often desire that too. They desire an independent sense of self, but also value reassurance and closeness, a combination that can be the foundation for a healthy give-and-take in a romance.

Desires

• A partner who can hold them down without being overbearing.
• A mutual give-and-take of reassurance and validation in a romance.
• An independent sense of self and life outside of the relationship.
• A feeling of oneness with a partner that doesn’t feel like either one is developing co-dependencies on the other.

Ideal Relationship

• A partner who keeps things exciting and fun in a romance.
• A partner who understands and allows them personal space when they need it, but is also willing and able to reassure them on occasion.
• A relationship where both partners value and prioritize psychological closeness.

The Energetic crushes on people easily, and are often quick to fall in and out of fantasies. They may love the game of love, but this doesn’t mean they’re averse to commitment. Because they also value reassurance and closeness from their partners in times of need, they can often balance their independent side with their love of romance. In love, they prioritize the thrills and excitement of romance along with this closeness, which can lead to exciting relationships, even if they’re sometimes a rollercoaster ride for their partners.

Being with The Energetic

Being a partner to The Energetic type can be confusing, because they simultaneously need reassurance and psychological closeness and yet independence in other realms. While this can sometimes be confusing, it can also be freeing to be with this type. They’re likely to want a partner to have their own lives outside of a relationship, and don’t come into romances with too many pragmatic needs or wants, making it easier for romances to grow and thrive organically once they find their rhythm.

Bright spots of a relationship with The Energetic

• Willing to work harder to get to know partners on a more psychological and emotional level.
• Have a playful approach to love that makes every romance a fun, exciting one to be in.
• Even though they want a sense of self outside of a relationship, they’re not averse to blending some aspects of their lives together in a relationship.

Challenges of being with The Energetic

• While they need reassurance and validation, they’re not always good at giving it back in the same way.
• They can blow hot and cold—needing independence some days, then wanting to feel oneness in a relationship on other days.

Compatible types

While whether these types find their perfect match often depends on how they balance their traits, it’s usually easy for them to draw in partners. They have a charming, engaging approach to romance of which most other types are drawn, and their independent nature can make them even more attractive in the dating stage.

While they may not do that well with other daring types that only encourage them to jump from relationship to relationship, they’re usually well-matched with most romantic types. Some pragmatic and anchored types can help ground them, but types that are too interdependent and entropic may frustrate them.

• IPCA
• ICRA
• TRCA
• IPEA
• TCPA

With the desire for an independent sense of self but a need for closeness in times of emotional need, struggle, or self-doubt, The Energetic type can be faced with challenging internal conflicts. They want the fun and spontaneity, the freedom to go out and party or to have different social circles, but they may not always be comfortable with their partners doing the same. While they sometimes just need to know their partners care, they have a tendency to push people away, or to clamp down on how they feel because they don’t want to be seen as vulnerable, all of which can cause misunderstandings, and in turn, conflict within a relationship.

Unhealthy adaptations

• Pushing people away in fear that they are getting too close, desiring emotional closeness but worrying that they may have to sacrifice a part of themselves to get it.
• Presenting a stiff upper lip to the world to overcompensate rather than allowing themselves to look vulnerable by asking for what they need or desire.
• Desire for reassurance and companionship combined with need for stimulation can make them run from relationships when they’re scared of being too vulnerable.

Struggles

• Their focus on romance and desire for thrills and excitement combined with their need for independence can lead to poor decision-making when it comes to giving relationships a chance to work out—they can be so caught up in the idea of a romance that they may find it easier to keep looking for ‘the one’ rather than focus on the good aspects of what is right in front of them.
• Fall hard and fast for people in a way that can make them mistake lust for love.
• Desire partners who will be there for them, but cannot always handle overly needy partners themselves, leading to an imbalance in give-and-take in a relationship.
• Daring tendencies can lead to a grass is greener feeling, always searching for new and exciting things outside of a romance that seem out of reach within their existing relationships.

With their desire for psychological closeness at the forefront, The Energetic is able to control their desire for stimulation and look within their relationship rather than outside it for the thrills and fun they seek. Since they don’t need to share friends or even necessarily lifestyles, it’s easy for them to find happiness with partners who are open and honest. In their happiest state, they’re able to communicate what they need: to be accepted and loved for who they are, and given the space they need to be themselves.

Healthy Adaptations

• Showing vulnerability and communicating their needs, however complex or confused they might be.
• Able to work through conflict with a partner because of their need for closeness and emotional connection in a relationship.
• Independent nature keeps a check on their more daring side, preventing unnecessary drama and conflict in romance.

With their desire for psychological closeness at the forefront, The Energetic is able to control their desire for stimulation and look within their relationship rather than outside it for the thrills and fun they seek. Since they don’t need to share friends or even necessarily lifestyles, it’s easy for them to find happiness with partners who are open and honest. In their happiest state, they’re able to communicate what they need: to be accepted and loved for who they are, and given the space they need to be themselves.

Healthy Adaptations

• Showing vulnerability and communicating their needs, however complex or confused they might be.
• Able to work through conflict with a partner because of their need for closeness and emotional connection in a relationship.
• Independent nature keeps a check on their more daring side, preventing unnecessary drama and conflict in romance.

Although The Energetic can sometimes fall into the trap of flitting from relationship to relationship, when they’re in a romance that they deem worth it, one of their strengths is the ability to balance their independence with their need for affirmation. They can cultivate a romance in which they don’t need to be attached at the hip to their partner. One of their biggest strengths is being able to give their partner space and time apart without feeling jealous or insecure, as long as they know their partner is there for them when they need it

• Able to step in and out of the comforts of a relationship without being emotionally broken down by distance, whether it’s physical or emotional.
• Have the ability to let reality override their fantasies of a life together so they can see the true picture rather than the version they make up in their heads.
• Love the passion of romance, but also have an independent side that makes them unlikely to be affected by every up-and-down in a relationship.
• Need reassurance in love, but also understand and value independence, which means they won’t stifle or control their partners’ every move.
• Listen to their gut feelings enough to enter relationships without needing to check off a list of compatibility boxes, and value closeness within it, but also able to leave a romance if they feel like it isn’t working out.