The Anchor

The Anchor desires a romantic life, but this desire is rooted in reality rather than in the spontaneity and fantasy of romance. They’re looking for a shared life with a partner that is the right fit, and who checks all their compatibility boxes.

Because of their confident and self-assured nature, they’re unlikely to worry about the little things in a relationship, choosing to focus instead on more practical aspects of a romance.

Desires

• A steady, stable romantic life.
• A feeling of oneness without losing their sense of self.
• Compatibility based on a practical set of shared goals, traits, and aspirations, grounded in reality.
• A balanced give and take that feels like a partnership in life and in love.

Ideal Relationship

• A reliable, steady relationship that helps them feel anchored and settled in love.
• A partner who wants to spend more time together than apart, but does not want to enmesh every aspect of their lives together.
• A relationship that prioritizes practical, realistic goals and shared interests over the fantasy of falsely-idealized romance.

They desire closeness with a partner, and prefer to spend more time together than apart, but they also have the capacity to be alone - particularly those who score low on Outgoing. This means they’re more likely to enter relationships from a place of honest intent. They approach romance with a more practical-minded approach.

For them, the right fit is more important than an initial spark, and a stable, shared life is more appealing than a passionate fling. This means they’re likely to prefer long-term relationships to the ups and downs of casual dating.

Being with The Anchor

They choose their partners carefully, but this doesn’t mean they’re slow to enter relationships. In fact, because they desire closeness with a partner, they’re likely to want to get past the dating stage and enter a steady romance as quickly as possible. A relationship with a TPCA is likely to be stable and emotionally fulfilling, even with their practical, grounded approach. This is because they value deeper connections, and are usually looking for something meaningful over a casual fling.

Bright spots of a relationship with The Anchor

• They are grounded in reality. For them, the grass is not always greener on the other side and they don’t daydream about better alternatives, making them steady, committed partners.
• They’re unlikely to need too much reassurance from or have a desire to control their partner, while still wanting to spend lots of time around them, making them easy to have around and build a life with.
• Since they pick partners carefully, they’re more likely to want to invest time and energy into a partner’s life, goals, and aspirations, making their relationship a true partnership.

Challenges of being with The Anchor

• Despite their pragmatic approach to love, they’re not afraid to take a chance with a partner who doesn’t tick all the boxes, but as the relationship develops, may pressure their partner to conform to their values rather than compromising on their own.
• With their practical-minded approach as well as their desire to spend more time together than apart, they may spend too much time analyzing issues in an effort to work everything out together, which can become tiring for less practical-minded or more independent partners who prefer to move on quicker from disagreements and conflicts.
• Can come off as critical in the dating stage since this is when they’re focused on finding shared interests prioritizing realistic, practical compatibility over passion and chemistry.

Compatible types

They are able and likely to get along with many different types, but their more-clinical search for a partner can be a challenge for Romantic or Chaotic types who find thrills in the games of love.

While preferring other interdependent partners, independent types with a Romantic side can fit well into their need for emotional closeness. And while they can sometimes run the risk of making less assured types feel insecure because they don’t always place enough emphasis on reassurance and validation, they’re likely to be compatible with some of these types as well.

• IPCA
• TPEA
• IREA
• TRCA

The Anchors are as their name suggests, often an anchoring force for their partners, but this can lead to some challenges for them. This is because they're often susceptible to something called the Superman complex. They love to be needed and want to play the role of savior for their partners.

They can then remain in unhealthy relationships because they’re convinced they can ‘save’ or ‘fix’ their partner, all of which comes at the cost of their own self-growth. Because of this, it’s advisable for the TPCA to support their partners' personal growth without taking responsibility for it.

Unhealthy adaptations

• Jumping into relationships too early when certain boxes are checked.
• Attracted to relationships and people that need work/fixing.
• Aloof and inconsiderate of partners who are more sensitive, or who need more affirmation and reassurance to feel centered and loved in a relationship.
• Finds reassurance and meaning in a relationship when the other person needs them, building unhealthy attachments.

Struggles

• With their own desire to spend more time with their partner than apart, they can unintentionally enable others’ codependencies. While they’re able to separate this desire from unhealthy attachments, more entropic, interdependent partners can have trouble doing the same.
• With a steady, anchored, and pragmatic side as well as a desire to intertwine lives with a partner, they can sometimes enter unhealthy relationships for practical reasons and then stay in them because of their desire to ‘fix' people instead of any lingering passion or romantic love.
• A focus on the realities of romance is a strength, but can also lead to some trouble finding joy in more spontaneous, romantic moments in a relationship without overanalyzing them.
• Although they’re able to open up to a partner they can have trouble giving reassurance, validation, or affirmation since they don’t need them themselves, which can make them appear closed off to partners in the early stages of a relationship.

While their desire to ‘fix people’ rather than abandon a sinking ship can sometimes work against their own best interests, it can also give them a surprising sense of fulfillment. They are more likely than other types to try and work things out rather than leave a partner at the first hint of trouble, which can help them get over uncomfortable humps and rocky roads on the way to a true emotional closeness.

Healthy Adaptations

• Their grounded natures help them support the important people in their lives while maintaining healthy boundaries.
• Their desire to spend all their time with a partner, cushioned by self-assured, anchored and practical-minded nature creates strong bonds without unhealthy attachments.
• A pragmatic approach keeps them from jumping into relationships with partners who are wholly incompatible, especially since they also dislike wasting time on dating.
• Grounded in reality, but also able to tap into healthy vulnerabilities and connect with a partner emotionally once they find the right fit.
• Balancing a desire to help their partners while maintaining healthy boundaries allows them to play a supporting role without trying to ‘fix’ people.

While their desire to ‘fix people’ rather than abandon a sinking ship can sometimes work against their own best interests, it can also give them a surprising sense of fulfillment. They are more likely than other types to try and work things out rather than leave a partner at the first hint of trouble, which can help them get over uncomfortable humps and rocky roads on the way to a true emotional closeness.

Healthy Adaptations

• Their grounded natures help them support the important people in their lives while maintaining healthy boundaries.
• Their desire to spend all their time with a partner, cushioned by self-assured, anchored and practical-minded nature creates strong bonds without unhealthy attachments.
• A pragmatic approach keeps them from jumping into relationships with partners who are wholly incompatible, especially since they also dislike wasting time on dating.
• Grounded in reality, but also able to tap into healthy vulnerabilities and connect with a partner emotionally once they find the right fit.
• Balancing a desire to help their partners while maintaining healthy boundaries allows them to play a supporting role without trying to ‘fix’ people.

The Anchor desires closeness and they like to feel like they’re sharing a life with a partner. Their search for shared goals and need for psychological closeness is combined with a confidence of who they are, a grounding in reality, and an ability to maintain a sense of self even while they intertwine their lives with a partner. Because of this, they’re likely to be good support systems, and consistently there for their partners, without necessarily forming unhealthy dependencies even though they may prefer to spend all their time together.

• Despite their interdependent side that values closeness and interdependence with a partner, their centered side helps them maintain a strong sense of self.
• Because of their self-assured personality, they’re not usually worried or stressed about little things in a relationship, but when they are, they’re able to channel this practically, which means they can work out potential disagreements with minimal conflict.
• They view relationships practically, but their desire for interdependence helps them also seek out meaningful, emotionally fulfilling relationships.
• They have a realistic perspective on love and life, and so don't expect a relationship to be the answer to all of their problems.
• They can put heartbreaks in perspective because of their ability to view relationships pragmatically instead of wholly emotionally. They may not always be willing or ready to move on from an unhealthy attachment themselves, but they’re able to pick up and move on once the relationship ends, even if they still hold feelings for the other person.