The Enigma

An enigma to some, The Enigma is impulsive and spontaneous, but romantic and self-governed at the same time. For these types, closeness with a partner is important, but they also need their own space at times.

They like to spend more time together with a partner than apart, but within that shared life, they want to know they have their own space. A fulfilling life for them includes having enough of this space for personal exploration.

There is a naturalness and adaptability to how they navigate the world and their romantic lives, which in its most actualized form, can inspire desire in others.

Desires

• A sense of togetherness with a partner that involves shared time and space.
• Someone to balance and complement them.
• A life of adventure, filled with varied experiences.
• Shared goals, traits, and aspirations, with compatibility that’s grounded in reality.
• A partner that inspires them.

Ideal Relationship

• A close relationship where they don't lose their sense of self. They want to feel centered within a relationship once they choose to be in one—but maintain spontaneity and fun at times.
• A partner who shares the same goals and values in life and in love and wants to spend more time together than apart.
• A fun, stimulating relationship that has the potential to turn into one with close emotional bonds.

For the Enigma, love is usually intertwined with other aspects of their lives, and they’re looking for romances that they can turn into fulfilling relationships. They value things like compatibility and seek oneness with a partner, and also have a daring side that desires the fun, stimulation, and novelty of the dating stage.

They don’t overly idealize love and romance, whether because they’re jaded, or simply because they’ve developed a maturity to see past the overly romantic and simplistic ideals of Hollywood love. With a mix of daring and responsible attitudes towards love, they’re practical, but still certainly capable of feeling the rush of early lust when they decide to open themselves to it.

Being with The Enigma

Because the Enigma wants togetherness but also has a tendency to play the game of love, they can end up in relationships driven by impulses. For some partners, it can be challenging to separate their pragmatic decisions from their impulse-driven ones, which they may come to regret later. However, they also have a side that helps them make an effort to create closeness in a relationship. While romancing them can sometimes be a rollercoaster ride, when all sides of their persona work in tandem, they create novel experiences for a partner while still focusing on the more realistic aspects of a relationship.

Bright spots of a relationship with The Enigma

• They need to feel oneness with a partner, but they’re not likely to need too many vocal affirmations or confirmations of their love once they’re in a relationship.
• They are centered enough not to need reassurance from a partner. However since they also prefer a shared, intertwined life, they can make even more entropic types feel reassured and safe in a relationship.
• They’re likely to bring excitement and fun into a relationship because of their playful approach to love.

Challenges of being with the Enigma

• They have a specific type of partner in mind, and also have a daring streak that can lead them to make impulse-driven decisions that can jeopardize their relationships.
• Their practical approach to love can be misread as emotional distance. While they don’t mean to be emotionally cold, it can sometimes be difficult to be vulnerable around them.
• They may make most of their decisions based on logic, but are also driven by their impulses which can be confusing for partners who are either more logical, or more impulse-driven.
• Though they're capable of making the first move, these people might need someone else to show intent for something serious and make plans, which can be challenging for some partners.

Compatible types

The Enigma is likely to draw in a variety of different types, especially given their spontaneous and fun approach during the dating stage. While they’re prone to rocky relationships with partners who may share some of their daring tendencies, they’re likely compatible with other partners who desire a practical fit and interlaced lives.

Because of this desire to intertwine their lives with a partner, it can sometimes be difficult for them to consider a romance in which both partners have independent lives outside of the relationship. However, they also have a centered side that makes them compatible with certain independent types that are perhaps more romantic or focused on finding stable, anchored relationships.

• TCPD
• TRED
• TCRA
• ICRA

They have a sensible, practical side that is sometimes at odds with their other, more impulse-driven, fun-focused side. When combined with their desire to spend most of their time around a significant other, it can lead to them jumping from relationship to relationship, using arbitrary ideas of incompatibility as a way to justify it to themselves when they feel unsettled or unhappy with this outcome.

They’re often seeking a good time and a perfect match, a combination that can draw in partners who may not prioritize the same amount of oneness in romance. While their centered side is usually able to keep them from heartbreak, they may find themselves entering more incompatible relationships as a consequence of this desire to find someone to share their lives with.

Unhealthy adaptations

• Allowing impulsivity to lead them into relationships even when they know they’re a mismatch.
• Using unhealthy coping mechanisms like partying too hard or jumping from relationship to relationship rather than talking to their partners about their feelings.
• Daring and interdependent natures make them forget logic and reasoning and lose their cool during a conflict.

Struggles

• Trouble understanding emotional perspectives when focusing too much on practicalities related to love and compatibility.
• Though they’re centered and pragmatic in what they want from love, they’re not always able to control their interdependent and daring sides enough to be pragmatic in their approach to getting it.
• Their stable side can butt heads with their impulsive side, making it difficult for them to balance the stability and sense of adventure they desire at the same time.
• Their impulsive nature can make them get caught up in some ‘grass is greener on the other side’ ideas that encourage them to jeopardize relationships or make rash decisions that don’t make them any happier in the long run.

The Enigma types share the sort of practical and centered traits that can make some people apprehensive of jumping into relationships. However, they have impulsivity and a desire to create a shared life with someone that helps them navigate past this. In their healthiest state, with all their traits balanced, they can find true happiness in a relationship that maintains its spark way past the honeymoon stage. This is because their natural, fun-loving approach to things keeps the passion alive, but their practical nature ensures that there’s enough of a grounding in reality to maintain lasting happiness.

Healthy Adaptations

• Channeling impulsivity into spontaneity, creativity, and fun.
• Logic-driven side leads to proactively avoiding partners with whom they are a mismatch.
• Practical and centered nature helps them work through disagreements and conflicts with emotional maturity.
• A matter-of-fact approach to compatibility combined with a centered nature and impulsivity in dating helps them unconsciously move past unhealthy attachments and dependencies despite their desire to spend more time together than apart in a relationship.

The Enigma types share the sort of practical and centered traits that can make some people apprehensive of jumping into relationships. However, they have impulsivity and a desire to create a shared life with someone that helps them navigate past this. In their healthiest state, with all their traits balanced, they can find true happiness in a relationship that maintains its spark way past the honeymoon stage. This is because their natural, fun-loving approach to things keeps the passion alive, but their practical nature ensures that there’s enough of a grounding in reality to maintain lasting happiness.

Healthy Adaptations

• Channeling impulsivity into spontaneity, creativity, and fun.
• Logic-driven side leads to proactively avoiding partners with whom they are a mismatch.
• Practical and centered nature helps them work through disagreements and conflicts with emotional maturity.
• A matter-of-fact approach to compatibility combined with a centered nature and impulsivity in dating helps them unconsciously move past unhealthy attachments and dependencies despite their desire to spend more time together than apart in a relationship.

They are unique in how they approach love and romance. While they have a sensible approach to love, their impulsivity ensures that they can find realistic compatibility with a partner without sacrificing the spontaneity and fun of romance.

One of their biggest strengths is being centered enough in their own sense of self to be vulnerable with a partner but also desiring enough togetherness that they’re able to reassure and settle the most entropic partners—all without sacrificing on the fun aspects of life and love.

• They’re unlikely to stay in relationships that are not working. Even though they prefer a stable, long-lasting relationship, if they feel a fundamental mismatch, their practical approach helps them to end the relationship even if it may cause them pain.
• This type is probably good at differentiating between lust and love, and knows when it's appropriate to dedicate their energy to one or the other.
• Even with their desire for psychological and physical closeness, and impulse-driven approach to certain aspects of love, they have a practical and centered side that can keep them from fantasizing over unrequited love.
• Their spontaneous side loves playing the field during the dating stage, but their practical side can try to ensure there’s a good fit when they’re considering entering a relationship with someone.