The Weaver

For The Weaver, love, and relationships are usually intertwined with other aspects of their lives. They’re looking for someone who shares the same goals and values. They seek closeness and an interlaced life with their partner, who plays an anchoring role in their life.

They have a mix of daring and responsible attitudes towards love. They desire fun, stimulation, and need psychological and emotional closeness to feel fully satisfied in a relationship.

This is reinforced by their desire to spend most of their time around their significant other, which can make it difficult for them to consider a romance in which both partners have independent lives outside of the relationship.

Desires

• A coalescing of their love life with all other aspects of their lives.
• A shared life of adventure.
• Fun, stimulating relationships that have the potential to become close emotional bonds.
• A feeling of oneness with a partner that feels exciting and fresh at the same time.

Ideal Relationship

• A partner who shares the same goals and values in life and in love.
• A partner who wants to spend more time together than apart.
• A partner who is able and willing to reassure them and validate their feelings.
• Their ideal partner is able to give them the comfort and security of a significant other along with the stimulation and excitement of a casual fling.

Though they are able to enmesh themselves emotionally and psychologically with the right partner, it can be difficult for them to find their perfect match; they have clashing needs for reassurance and close emotional connection, but also fun and stimulation!

In addition to their more practical idea of what makes an ideal partner, they’re likely also Excitement Seeking and may see certain relationships as just a good time. This combination makes them slow to open up, and extra picky in their search for long-term love.

Because they feel most loved when reassured and feel uneasy in challenging situations in romance, they need a partner willing to devote time and energy to addressing issues in the relationship.

They have less of a pressing need for separate social lives outside of their primary relationship and are in search of shared goals, aspirations, and interests. They’re the type of people who wouldn’t mind working, living, loving, and socializing primarily with their partners.

Being with The Weaver

With a tendency to play the game of love and fall into relationships driven by impulses, this archetype can end up knocking against their own otherwise pragmatic personality. However, when these sides of their persona work in tandem, they can create novel experiences for a partner while still focusing on the more realistic aspects of a relationship.

Bright spots of a relationship with The Weaver

• They’re willing to put in the work to get to know their partners on a deep, psychological and emotional level.
• They’re likely to bring excitement and fun into a relationship because of their playful approach to love.
• Their more pragmatic side grounds their expectations once they're in a relationship. They know the grass is not always greener.

Challenges of being with The Weaver

• The combination of their desire to intertwine lives with a partner and their insecurity in a relationship can be trying for a partner who does not have or understand these tendencies.
• Their need for vocal affirmation, reassurance, and validation can require patience and active support at times.
• They can feel unsettled in situations that they're not sharing with their partner, especially if they decide the other person is the right fit for them and are afraid of losing them.
• Because of their impulsive and excitement-seeking natures, they can sometimes make decisions that their otherwise pragmatic side wouldn't allow, like getting too drunk after a work event or showing up to something hours late. This can make it difficult to be with someone who is orderly or controlled.

Compatible types

Although they’re likely to be compatible with more anchored, romantic lovers they need a partner to share the same desire for closeness that they do. Centered, independent archetypes could also complement them.

The Dove is easily attracted to partners who share the same daring tendencies they do in love, but unless they are more centered or romantic they may have to learn to balance each others impulsive leanings since they can be prone to rocky relationships—a combination of chaos and independence, in particular, may seem compatible initially, but both archetypes will have to make an effort to make it past the courtship in this situation. They’re likely to be most compatible with:

• TCPD
• TERA
• TCRA
• ICRD

They can feel a push and pull within themselves—their playful side wanting to focus on the fun and withdrawing from partners that are not stimulating enough. They may find it difficult to truly let go, even when it’s most sensible to do so.

Since they're seeking both a good time and a perfect match, the early stages of their relationships can be rooted in the idea of ‘better times ahead.’ Their playful or at times impulsive approach to romance can initially manifest as the fun-loving romancer, attracting partners who have no intention of fostering deeper connections. This could eventually stoke the flames of their apprehensive leanings.

For this reason, it may be advisable for this archetype to try to postpone their immediate desires—let their pragmatism be in the driver’s seat for a while so they can prioritize the fun once they’ve found a potential partner rather than in the initial stages of courtship.

Unhealthy adaptations

• Torn between a desire for novel experiences and yet emotional closeness and stability, they give up on both too soon and don't give time for either play or commitment to fully flourish.
• Letting a low Moderation lead the way, they go too far in every direction—becoming too pragmatic, interdependent, entropic, or playful, often at various different points in the same relationship.
• Giving in to their own immediate desires and temptations can cause them to become somewhat suspicious and jealous because they may assume their partner does the same.
• Without giving and receiving enough space in a relationship, they lose a sense of their own identity and form unhealthy attachments, trying to mirror their partner’s needs and desires or expecting the same vice versa.

Even though their apprehensive approach to love can seem like a bad thing, once they learn to cushion their desire to intertwine every aspect of their life with a partner with a healthy skepticism at the start of a relationship, they're able to avoid almost every type of heartbreak. They need to trust a partner in order to open up to them, but once they do, they can nurture a relationship that’s intimate but also exciting.

This desire is further bolstered by their need for psychological closeness, shared values, and goals. In their healthiest state, they combine their impulse-driven desire to jump into a stimulating relationship with the more practical intent of seeking a potential long-term partner.

Healthy Adaptations

• When well-balanced with their pragmatism, they're able to use their attachment style to foster healthy emotional bonds in a relationship.
• In their healthiest states, they find partners and relationships that they can depend on for support, but then use that support for self-growth and actualization.
• With their matter-of-fact search for the ideal match and playful approach to dating, they end up unconsciously navigating past dependencies and letting go of relationships easier—they can see clearly why a partner wouldn't have been a good fit for the long-term.

Even though their apprehensive approach to love can seem like a bad thing, once they learn to cushion their desire to intertwine every aspect of their life with a partner with a healthy skepticism at the start of a relationship, they're able to avoid almost every type of heartbreak. They need to trust a partner in order to open up to them, but once they do, they can nurture a relationship that’s intimate but also exciting.

This desire is further bolstered by their need for psychological closeness, shared values, and goals. In their healthiest state, they combine their impulse-driven desire to jump into a stimulating relationship with the more practical intent of seeking a potential long-term partner.

Healthy Adaptations

• When well-balanced with their pragmatism, they're able to use their attachment style to foster healthy emotional bonds in a relationship.
• In their healthiest states, they find partners and relationships that they can depend on for support, but then use that support for self-growth and actualization.
• With their matter-of-fact search for the ideal match and playful approach to dating, they end up unconsciously navigating past dependencies and letting go of relationships easier—they can see clearly why a partner wouldn't have been a good fit for the long-term.

One of this type’s biggest strengths is the ability to balance their pragmatic, more sensible approach to long-term love with a lighthearted, playful approach to romance. While this can cause chaos if unbalanced, it can also manifest as a set of strengths that help them steer clear of heartbreak while still being open to a level of vulnerability in the right relationship.

• Even with their desire for psychological and physical closeness, their pragmatic side can keep them from fantasizing over unrequited love.
• They're able to separate some emotion from their relationship to look beyond initial sparks and see if there's a long-term fit.
• Despite their more pragmatic approach to love, they are likely able to keep the spark and excitement in relationships alive after the initial dating stage.
• They may find themselves playing the field with various types of partners during the dating stage, but they're unlikely to fall into a long-term relationship with someone that's not a good fit for them.