The Admirer

The Admirer is romantic and anchored, looking for passion and romance but also seeking the stability of long-term compatibility. Because they don’t have a particularly strong desire to have an independent life outside of their relationship, they’re likely to be looking for a certain amount of shared goals and aspirations.

When they find a compatible partner, they’re likely to give their all in a relationship, making their significant other the center of their world. While they’re not fond of the dating stage, they’re romantic at heart and able to bring passion and excitement into a long-term relationship.

Desires

• A balance of passion and stability and a partner who can provide both.
• A feeling of oneness with a partner.
• Reassurance and vocal affirmations of love and support.
• A partner who wants to spend more time together than apart.

Ideal Relationship

• A shared life where both partners combine goals, aspirations, hobbies, wants, and desires.
• A romance that moves quickly from the dating stage to a committed relationship, devoid of games.

The Admirers are a unique type in that they’re fun and romantic, but also desire stability and commitment from a partner. Preferring to forgo the tedium of the dating stage, they sometimes rush into the next step before they or their partner is ready. However, their anchored side helps prevent them from making rash, impulsive decisions in love.

Being with The Admirer

The Admirers are romantic, but they don’t like playing games in romance so they’re likely to be upfront and honest about their feelings, but they may also end up being awkward and confusing to read in the dating stage. When their romantic sides work in tandem with their desire for reassurance and oneness with a partner, they can create an environment of passion that’s interwoven with an emotional closeness that keeps the spark alive in a relationship.

Bright spots of a relationship with The Admirer

• The Admirers can sometimes jump too quickly into a relationship, but they also favor stability within them, which likely makes them steady, committed partners.
• In their mature states, they are straightforward and let their partners know where they stand with them.
• They’re able and willing to compromise during arguments as they have the ability to put their partner's needs above their own when necessary.
• They’re likely to bring passion and romance into a long-term relationship so it will feel stable but never boring.

Challenges of being with The Admirer

• Can lean on stronger personality types more than they would on partners with similar traits, which can feel stifling to partners with more independent, centered traits.
• Their discomfort with dating can make them put pressure on their partners to take relationships to the next stage too early.
• Their need for vocal affirmation, reassurance, and validation can require patience and active support at times.

Compatible types

Although they’re not necessarily fond of dating and want to move past this stage quicker than other types, they’re usually willing and able to give anyone a shot if they feel a spark. Partners who play too many games and jump from one relationship to the other too quickly can make The Admirer feel unsettled and unsteady, stoking the flames of unhealthy attachment issues for them.

They sometimes have a risk of codependence with stronger personality types and so those who are more centered or independent, may not be a good fit for them. They’re likely to be most compatible with more assured, centered versions of themselves.

• TRCA
• TREA
• IRED
• TPEA

The Admirer can sometimes be caught up in an internal struggle—their romantic side wants to focus on the passion, excitement, and thrill of a romance, but their anchored side combined with their need for reassurance and shared lives can push them to get past the fantasy of romance and jump into a serious relationship. While this can sometimes be a good thing because they’re not hesitant about commitment, it can lead to them committing too much too soon to the wrong partner.

In the same vein, their ability to give themselves fully to a partner is one of their biggest strengths, but can also be a weakness because they’re often at risk of sacrificing their own wants and needs for those of the wrong partner, who won’t prioritize theirs in return.

For this reason, it may be advisable for The Admirer archetype to try to slow down a little, and to spend a little more time in the dating stage to reduce the risk of sacrificing too much of themselves in a long-term commitment with an incompatible partner.

Unhealthy adaptations

• Desire for reassurance and companionship makes them stay in unhealthy relationships even after seeing the red flags.
• Desire to fulfill a partner's needs leads to self-sacrificing their own, even when it’s the wrong partner.
• Torn between a tendency to buy into the fantasy of romance and desire for anchored, stable lives, they give up on relationships before they have a chance to go past the dating stage.
• Focusing too much on their desire for shared lives and reassurance in their relationships leads to unhealthy attachments.

Struggles

• Because they dislike feeling unsure and unanchored in any given situation, dating is not always fun for The Admirer. They may find the early stages of dating draining, preferring instead to expend energy on building a romance with a partner.
• Having unrealistic expectations of love (and their partner). May subconsciously see love and partnership as a cure to their problems.
• Not setting boundaries out of fear of rejection or dismissal.
• Their desire for reassurance and their search for an anchored feeling in a relationship may put them at risk of some codependencies when they’re paired with stronger personality types that may be more Dominant [/pattern/pattern-dominating] Romantics [/pattern/pattern-romantic-lover].
• They may give up on their sense of selves as they try to mirror their partners or satisfy their needs and desires over their own to such an extent that they end up unhappy and unfulfilled in the process.
• Their focus on romance and desire for reassurance combined with their need for anchored stability can lead to poor decision-making when it comes to leaving relationships that are unhealthy or incompatible—they can be so caught up in the idea of a romance that even if it’s making them unhappy, they may find it easier to stay in it than to leave.

The Admirer are not always comfortable being by themselves and prefer to share lives with a partner. However, they’re often able to find enough of a balance that they can build on their sense of selves, and learn to be alone comfortably enough that they don’t fall into relationships that are wrong for them.

Even though they’re likely to jump into relationships because of their romantic nature, developing the ability to be by themselves helps them open up fully to the right person when they’re in a long-term commitment, rather than to just any person.

Healthy Adaptations

• With an anchored nature, they form bonds with mutual reliance rather than unbalanced relationships where one person does most of the giving or receiving.
• When conflict arises, their desire to be one with their partner makes them more willing to address underlying issues and to find compromises that help them work through things together.
• Centered by their anchored nature and driven by romantic tendencies they create stable environments for relationships that still hold the thrill of romance.
• Despite their romantic natures they proactively avoid dating partners with whom they see no future at all.
• Harness a balanced combination of their traits to build their sense of self and priorities in a way that they can give themselves fully to the right partner.

The Admirer are not always comfortable being by themselves and prefer to share lives with a partner. However, they’re often able to find enough of a balance that they can build on their sense of selves, and learn to be alone comfortably enough that they don’t fall into relationships that are wrong for them.

Even though they’re likely to jump into relationships because of their romantic nature, developing the ability to be by themselves helps them open up fully to the right person when they’re in a long-term commitment, rather than to just any person.

Healthy Adaptations

• With an anchored nature, they form bonds with mutual reliance rather than unbalanced relationships where one person does most of the giving or receiving.
• When conflict arises, their desire to be one with their partner makes them more willing to address underlying issues and to find compromises that help them work through things together.
• Centered by their anchored nature and driven by romantic tendencies they create stable environments for relationships that still hold the thrill of romance.
• Despite their romantic natures they proactively avoid dating partners with whom they see no future at all.
• Harness a balanced combination of their traits to build their sense of self and priorities in a way that they can give themselves fully to the right partner.

The Admirers have the ability to be vulnerable and open with their partners, but they also have an anchored side that helps reign in their feelings when necessary. This gives them the unique advantage of being able to find oneness with their partner, creating a shared life together without sacrificing their sense of selves completely.

• Likely to give themselves fully to the right partner, willing to sacrifice parts of themselves to make sure their partner's needs and desires are met.
• Love being in passionate romances but hate playing games in love and prefer a more anchored life, making it easy for them to settle down quickly.
• Prefer a shared, interwoven life with their partner and like being in relationships, but can lean on their anchored side when they need to be alone and able to do so in such situations without too much of a struggle.
• Listen to their gut feelings enough to jump into a romance but also have an anchored side that balances out their emotions enough to prevent them from making rash, impulsive decisions in a relationship.