The Idealist

The Idealist desires the intimacy of a relationship and the playfulness of dating. They want support, validation, and time together from their significant other but also want a relationship that feels exciting and fun.

Despite their playful and romantic approach to love, they’re not necessarily afraid of commitment, though they may sometimes find themselves jumping from relationship to relationship in search of a steady partnership.

Desires

• Emotional support, validation, and reassurance from a partner.
• Spontaneity and fantasy in a romance.
• A blended life, enmeshed with that of a significant other.

Ideal Relationship

• A relationship that is full of sparks, spontaneity, and fantasy.
• A partner who wants to spend more time together than apart.
• A partner who is able and willing to reassure them and validate their feelings.
• A relationship that is the primary focus for both partners, where every aspect of their lives inside and outside the romance are blended together.

They are malleable. While they desire a lot more affirmation and quality time with their partner than other types, their playful and romantic natures can attract many types of lovers.

Although once they’re in a relationship, they desire emotional support and reassurance, they’re often also able to give this back in equal part. Their desire to enmesh themselves emotionally and psychologically with a partner can be an advantage when they find the right match, but it may also make it difficult for them to form healthy interdependencies in a relationship—they may pull a partner in rather than let go when they feel their interest waning, which can lead to heartbreak.

With their romantic and playful sides combining with their desire to share lives with a partner, they do not hesitate to jump into relationships, and it’s easy for them to open up and be vulnerable from the outset.

They have less desire for separate social lives outside of a relationship, and even if they don’t initially share the same hobbies and goals, are often willing to compromise on their own to share in those of their partners'.

Being with The Idealist

They desire and need a lot from relationships, and are often actively in search of romance. Because of their romantic and playful natures, it’s easy to tell when they are interested in someone, and they’re capable of making the first move, whether it’s in the dating stage or when it comes to milestones in a long-term relationship.

Bright spots of a relationship with The Idealist

• They’re not afraid of vulnerability and dependence and allow themselves to truly open up to a partner, which in turn helps make it easier for partners to open up to them.
• They’re likely to bring a spark of romance and fun to any relationship because of their playful approach to love.
• They’re willing and able to make the first move and take the next step when it comes to relationship milestones like saying “I love you” or moving in together.
• Are more willing to compromise and find shared hobbies, goals, and aspirations because of their desire to blend various aspects of life with a partner.

Challenges of being with The Idealist

• Their desire to be around their partners can be overwhelming, especially for partners who need more space within a relationship than they do.
• Their need to know and be involved in the ins and outs of their partner's life can make it difficult for the partner to maintain an independent life outside of the relationship.
• Because of their desire for excitement and their focus on playful, fantasy-driven romances, they may sometimes make impulse decisions that put their commitments in jeopardy and unsettle partners, especially those who are more pragmatic or [controlled] (/element/neo-controlled).
• They often subconsciously mold themselves and adapt their behavior to please their partners, which can make it difficult to gauge when they’re being their true selves.

Compatible types

The Idealists have the ability to attract partners of all types because of their romantic and playful approach to love, but some partners may find their desire for oneness in a relationship challenging.

Because they place emphasis on blending lives with a partner, being with them can be fulfilling for a partner who desires this same sense of oneness, but slightly challenging for those who desire more independence within their relationships.

This doesn’t mean this type isn’t compatible with more independent or centered types, simply that they’re more likely to be compatible with partners who prefer a more unified life together.

With partners who share the same traits as they do, both sides may need to learn to balance their impulsive leanings to avoid unnecessary conflict in a relationship. The Idealists are likely very well-matched with partners who can be a supportive, anchoring presence in their lives. They're likely to be most compatible with:

• TREA
• TPCA
• IRCA
• TRED

The Idealist likes being in a relationship, and loves the idea of romance so much they can find themselves jumping into and blending their lives with a partner quicker than other types.

In a relationship, it's healthy to share aspects of your lives with a partner: your feelings and desires, time after work or on the weekends, in pursuit of shared hobbies. However, The Idealist can often lean too much on this idea, wanting to spend more time together than alone. This can lead to both partners becoming two halves of a whole, rather than two independent selves merging their lives to form a healthy partnership.

For The Idealist, this may also make breakups more difficult than for other types. So much of themselves are intertwined with their partner that they may not be able to leave a relationship willingly, even if they recognize deep down that it has run its course. While they are sometimes capable of doing the breaking up, they’re more likely to be the partner who is broken up with, and they may have trouble dealing with this.

Because it may take them a lot of time and emotional energy to recover from a breakup, it may be advisable for them to wait till they’re sure they’re with the right person before getting emotionally enmeshed.

Unhealthy adaptations

• Need to enmesh every aspect of life with a partner can lead to an unhealthy blending of self-identity, sacrificing too much of themselves for the sake of a relationship.
• Absorb a partner's feelings and emotions in an attempt to feel closer to them, which may lead to suppressing their own.
• Desire to be one with their partner can mean they prioritize things their partner wants and needs, leading to The Idealist losing sight of their own interests and values.
• Excitement-seeking tendencies may lead to them jumping from relationship to relationship, often against their own self-interests.
• The discomfort of being alone combined with a desire to be one with a partner may lead to some insecurities and a lack of trust in a relationship.
• In a relationship that doesn't feel right to them, rather than have an honest assessment of things and have a mature breakup, they may self-sabotage subconsciously. That could be through cheating or acts of aggression.

Struggles

• Because they are often uncomfortable being alone they may struggle with prioritizing themselves over a relationship—they may find it challenging to love themselves before taking on a relationship with real intent rather than jumping into one because of their desire for a partner.
• Having unrealistic expectations of love (and their partner). Might subconsciously see love and partnership as a cure to their problems.
• Not setting boundaries out of fear of rejection or dismissal.
• Least likely of the types to be able to be alone. Their struggle is going to be giving themselves time to grow and love themselves before they take on a relationship with real intent instead of just not wanting to be alone.
• Needing stability from a partner but also the excitement and fantasy of romance, especially a new romance, can lead to an inner conflict that may cause conflict in relationships.
• May find it difficult to find happiness and self-worth outside of a relationship since they desire and need a lot from them.

Even with their need for a blended life, The Idealist is far from boring in a relationship. They may need vocal affirmations, reassurance, and validation, but they also love the thrills and excitement of romance, and this combination can be a surprisingly fulfilling one for the right partner. Once they trust that their partner is in it for the long-term, their ability to include them in their own lives can lead to shared vulnerabilities, more emotional and psychological closeness, and deeper levels of intimacy.

Healthy Adaptations

• Prioritizing and developing self-love first allows them to enter a relationship from a place of mutual support and love rather than dependence.
• Prioritizing romance even after the dating stage helps keep the spark alive in a relationship.
• Balancing their need for enmeshed lives gives them the ability to prioritize their partner’s needs in a way that makes them feel loved and cared for.
• They use their openness and vulnerability as platform in a relationship to build trust and connection.

Even with their need for a blended life, The Idealist is far from boring in a relationship. They may need vocal affirmations, reassurance, and validation, but they also love the thrills and excitement of romance, and this combination can be a surprisingly fulfilling one for the right partner. Once they trust that their partner is in it for the long-term, their ability to include them in their own lives can lead to shared vulnerabilities, more emotional and psychological closeness, and deeper levels of intimacy.

Healthy Adaptations

• Prioritizing and developing self-love first allows them to enter a relationship from a place of mutual support and love rather than dependence.
• Prioritizing romance even after the dating stage helps keep the spark alive in a relationship.
• Balancing their need for enmeshed lives gives them the ability to prioritize their partner’s needs in a way that makes them feel loved and cared for.
• They use their openness and vulnerability as platform in a relationship to build trust and connection.

With a vulnerability that comes from their desire to find unity in being with their partner, The Idealist is able to open up from the start of a relationship. One of their biggest strengths is their ability to nurture their partner's goals and aspirations because of their willingness to compromise their own to make their significant other happy. While this can sometimes lead to self-sacrificing tendencies, with the right partner who can do the same for them, it encourages a relationship where everyone's needs are met without resistance or resentment.

• Are willing to make a commitment and unlikely to take too much time mulling over things like perfect fit before jumping into a relationship—they're able to listen to their gut feelings.
• Able to encourage and nurture the right partner’s goals and aspirations, making them feel valued in a relationship.
• They may find themselves driven by the fantasy of romance in the dating stage but their desire to blend lives with a partner means they’re able to check their more chaotic side during a long-term relationship.
• Love being in passionate romances, but are not afraid or unwilling to be in committed relationships, which when balanced can lead to more exciting long-term romances.