Bond Avoidant

Attachment Styles

Bond Avoidant

Quick definition

Fears closeness with others, withdraws from romantic partners.

Average user score

48

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Description

Avoidant attachment is a fear of closeness with others, and a tendency to withdraw from romantic partners. It stems from unavailable or unresponsive caregivers in early childhood, and is characterized by a reluctance to form deep emotional bonds with partners. They have difficulty trusting people and are cautious of intimacy.

About this trait

Distribution of user scores

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100

Other Traits in Attachment Styles

Unhealthy Adaptations

High scorers have learned to suppress outward emotions or displays of vulnerability. As adults, they find it difficult to trust people and are wary of intimacy, which they instinctively perceive as unreliable. When someone gets too close, they’re liable to lose interest or close themselves off emotionally.

They are also more likely than others to overrate and react to the intensity of their partners' emotions. In conflict, they take their partners' negative emotions more seriously and acutely. They may overreact to conflict, which may get in the way of taking measures to work through it.

Conversely they may also withdraw from overly positive emotions or grand gestures by their partner. More effective are soft gestures like listening to them after a hard day or dependably being there for them when they need it.