Boundary Setting

Attachment Styles

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Boundary Setting

Quick definition

Able to establish personal limits and communicate them to ensure self-respect, emotional well-being, and healthy relationships.

Average user score

53

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High Scorers

High scorers are able to set and maintain personal limits, both physical and emotional, in relationships and interactions. They communicate and enforce boundaries to protect their well-being, values, and needs. They say "no" when necessary, and establishing expectations for acceptable behavior.

Related Traits

Healthy boundary setting fosters self-respect, autonomy, and healthy relationships, while preventing codependency and resentment.

About this trait

Distribution of user scores

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Other Traits in Attachment Styles

Boundaries which are rigidly placed at most extreme ends of the spectrum present their own challenges.

High scorers with very rigid boundaries can risk jeopardizing their relationships, often keeping people at arms length and keeping many aspects of themselves closed-off to others. These heavy boundaries can restrict current relationships, both friendships and romantic partners, from growing and even prevent them from starting altogether.

Low scorers with very open boundaries tend towards the opposite. They keep people so close that they can overstep other people’s boundaries. Their tendency to overshare can be dangerous when it comes to personal information. With such vaguely-defined personal boundaries, they can often mold them in an effort to fit in with others.

Learning how to build healthy boundaries requires both trust and caution; it can be a balancing act between firmness and openness. With self-awareness and clear communication, comes an understanding and fluidity around boundary setting.

The best ways to develop healthy boundaries is to:

  • Accept when people tell you “no”
  • Know when it’s okay to say “no”
  • Understand and communicate personal needs frequently
  • Share personal details with caution. Too little or too much can damage relationships.

Setting boundaries is situational, and the level to which they are loose or firm is dependent on the external factors at play