Traits/Elements/

Independent Love

Independent Love

Love Attitudes

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Independent Love

Quick definition

Desires independence and preservation of own identity in romantic relationships.

Average user score

62

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Description

People who score high in independent love are decidedly self-reliant, and prioritize maintaining an autonomous life outside their romantic relationships.

This love style has 3 components

  • Cognitive independence - having their own ideas and opinions on topics.
  • Interest independence - Having separate passions and interests from one another.
  • Social independence - Having separate social lives and groups of friends.

Root Causes

The preference for independent love is often formed by two contrasting early childhood experiences:

  • An upbringing by over-bearing parents, resulting in a strong opposite reaction favoring freedom and self-reliance.
  • A lack of stability in childhood, leading high-scorers to seek to forge a more solid foundation for themselves in adulthood.
About this trait

Distribution of user scores

0

25

50

75

100

Other Traits in Love Attitudes

Low scorers of independent love are more likely to have codependent tendencies. With this in mind, it may be easier to manage relationships with partners that score similarly in these traits. If someone is dependent on a more independent partner, it is likely that neither individual will have their needs met when both are unwilling to reevaluate their approach to love.

Being with an Independent Lover

If in a relationship with an Independent lover, one should support their dreams, but shouldn’t always try to be their center of attention. Partners may have to provide more space than they’re used to giving.

However, partners can make the most of it by accomplishing their own goals instead and leading an independent life of their own.

Independent lovers tend to celebrate these aspects of their partner’s life, reciprocating the encouragement.

High scorers may take their independence too seriously. At its extreme, this independence can come across as avoidant or dismissive to their partner.

In some instances, they are reluctant to be vulnerable and may fail to ask for help even when they need it. Without this vulnerability, close relationships can feel more like strangers, putting romance at risk.